Your empty ice heart

Emptiness? No thoughts coming to mind? No thoughts at all? I don’t feel, I don’t sympathise. Immunity to the killings and deceit because maybe we’re just used to it.

Friendship brings people together. Of all the lies force fed to us, this is one of the worst. What if you’re the black sheep of the group? Worrying about what you say in case something slips and exposure. Lurking around in the shadows of their smiles; false face must hide what the false heart doth know. Dancing along to the rhythm of their laughter, like a puppet on strings. Slowly, you are fading and they are winning. Slowly, they are taking over and everything else is dead. The world goes lights out.

They want to help you. They have to help you. They need to help you. To them you are a danger; lock you up with the lions until you make a deal with the devils. This may sound controversial to you if I call them devils because they rid you of your demons, yet not at all. To the side you are pushed and shoved and shunned and stunned, giving other people priorities. They are the devils of your mind and the seeds of anarchy start to rage. What are other people doing? Other people are killing themselves, they need, they need, sort them out! Your head is drifting and so are they, but not in the same way.

Scars no longer penetrate the skin, tears no longer penetrate the face and the dark is no longer taking prisoners. Lock you up till the day awakes and makes you sane. You are gone. To the world you are alive and well, but the darkness could not resemble your ice heart more.

It was all a lie

You know when you will find out who real friends are? When you hear about what they say behind your back. When you see them hiding in a corner whispering to someone, looking around every so often just to check if you’re around. They mention unnecessary things that don’t involve them, just to save their own back. That is when you realise that everything was a lie. That they did not deserve your friendship or your companionship. That’s when you realise that the one person who told you that they weren’t good for you, was right.

They would tell you to keep hold of your dreams and one day we will be free. They would say that we will travel the world together and be next to each other side-by-side, always. They would buy you gifts every so often just to make sure that you appreciate them. But now you know that it was all a lie and the gifts were just cover ups.

They would speak nice words to you and lift you up so high that you were practically floating on clouds. But every so often, one, then two words of pure hatred would leave their mouth. But you never noticed, until it was too late. And now you know that it was all a lie and the words were covers for what they really wanted to say.

They would advice you on how to live your life and when you question them, they would reply, trying very hard not to hurt or offend you. But now you know that it was all a lie and the replies were just disguises for what they really had on their mind.

You would tell them about love and how you fell for someone knowing that it was all wrong. They would help you to open up and express what is within yourself, because you would regret it in the end. But now you know that it was all a lie and the help was just a camouflage, hiding what they hated about you.

They would act like a true friend, who would stay till the very end. Who would grow old with you and laugh about the good times when you are weak and frail. But now you know that it was all a lie to mask their evil intentions to ruin you and everything you hold so dearly. And hell did they do a good job of covering it up. I almost didn’t see through them. Almost.

Wadz x