Change. Change. Change. Hear it echoing? I hear it. Loud and clear like screams deafening anyone who’s found out the truth.
Claiming that it’s good for you; that it’s normal to happen to every soul as part of the tedious chore of growing up, mature and older. The very thing supposed to be normal somehow manages to strike a flame of fear in my heart. What happens when the people you grew close and attached to, simply change?
I’m still the same person I was wrapped up inside this frail cellophane body releasing screams of escape. The shivers continue to overtake me; I’m still as cold and dark as I was. I never let the fire burn within me for too long, I knew it was never enough to be worth melting for. Can the same be said about you?
I hear the profanities leaving your empty mind when the world around you applauds you for your vulgar language. You aren’t the person I once knew, ever though you claim under all those bricked-up layers the being I once met remains. That being has been smashed and left to burn in the fire of insecurities inside you, leaving the afterglow. Yes, it remains. As a pile of ash.
I know you’re getting lonely surrounded by a crowd who claim that you are to stay together till the end; little do they know the tears you once shed fell in their names. I want to save you. Jump right in and be the hero, even though the odds are most definitely not in my favour. Forgive me and spare my life, I’m not that brave as to throw it all away for you. You would throw it away for me, right?
How hypocritical of me I seem to sound selfish, so did you when your heart burned red with desire. I wished, oh how I wished we could be as close as the two fingers on my right, now I know we are as close as night and day. Stopping for a moment of intermission in sunlight; blinding with beauty, but carrying the night upon its shoulders. The darkness will follow me wherever I go, because the darkness wouldn’t leave whenever it felt the need to.
You were too good to be true, I can no longer hear your cries. You’ve fallen too far behind the brick wall you once managed to clamber over. No one told me growing older was going to be this lonely. No one mentions the coldness growing in your heart, the blood oozing out of every wound and the making of an empty ice heart.